Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
