I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
did you just send me my own nude
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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