Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
