Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
