Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
