there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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