Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
