im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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