I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
