she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
