May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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