im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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