she was so not down for the gang bang
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
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I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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