What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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