her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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