Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize