I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize