Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
