True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
