Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
