I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How naked do you want me to be?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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