imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
