what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
