Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
