I can tuck mytits in my pants
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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