i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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