i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
