and i looked up. we had an audience...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
