I think I won the penis lottery.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
