I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
