I want to have your abortion
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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