Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
