Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Drunk is a universal language darling
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize