Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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