That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
