Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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