Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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