I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
