Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I need water and some morals
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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