Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
