i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've blown a few things in my day
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I lost the right to judge tonight
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
