Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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