I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I did not marry a roomba.
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