walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
