im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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