Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
