Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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