the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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