She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
