I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
