coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
