you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
