Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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