bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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