i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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