white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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