just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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